The "me time" myth

I just read a fascinating article (here) that talked about how enticing and deceptive it is to seek time to oneself. How it is a hunger that can never be satisfied. I can so easily relate to the problems that she talks about, how the more I seek “me time”, the more resentful I am to have that time interrupted or denied me. And even when I do chuck it all and spend an entire day reading or playing on the computer, I do not end feeling refreshed and rejuvenated but rather empty.

The conventional modern cultural reply to that is that I am not fully enjoying myself because of my destructive guilt for taking that time. If I could just fully embrace the fact that I “deserve” that time to myself, I would then be recharged by it. That sounds so logical on the surface, but isn't it just another way that we are being taught to be selfish?

It seems to me that the problem does not start when I am harried and frustrated and I start demanding “me time”. I think the problem starts much earlier when I start resenting the things that I am asked to do. All those little moments when I'm faced with a poopy diaper, or the billionth question in the last hour, or asked to stop what I'm doing because somebody climbed up to the top bunk (where they weren't supposed to be in the first place) and then got stuck up there. Those are the moments when I have a tendency to put on that martyred attitude. That “Fine, I'll sacrifice of myself to help you, because it's what a good mother does” attitude. I may be physically doing the right things, but mentally I'm racking up a bunch of tiny little debts that the world owes me to make up for my saintly self-sacrifice. Is it any wonder that eventually that tally book gets very full and I start demanding payment? But because it wasn't a Godly thing in the first place, I get no rejuvenation from it. The moment my “me time” is over, I resent having to resume my drudgery.

I think that perhaps it is more godly to seek to enjoy the things that I am doing, to be content at all times so that no little debts get racked up in the first place. Instead of getting away from the kids for my calm time, is it not better to help the kids be calm with me? If I am enjoying my life as it is, why would I need a vacation to get away from it?